Baby Names
by astronomysnap
Summary: When Puck and Rachel have sex one night, Rachel wakes up the next morning with a feeling that she is pregnant. When she goes to Puck's to tell him, they have a small argument over baby names.


Okay, So this idea came to me today while talking to my homeboy Kyle :}. We were just talking and started roleplaying as Puck and Rachel, Discussing baby names. It was really cute. When Rachel and Puck are talking about names, just know the things Puck says, were actually said by Kyle tonight.3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Because if I did, the whole show would be about Puckleberry and Britanna**  


* * *

  
It was seven at night, on a Friday, and Noah Puckerman was sitting cross legged on Rachel Berry's bed.

Not only was he just sitting there, opposite of her, but they both had their clothes on. They had been

partnered together for an English assignment, and since they were kinda making out (Not dating. Noah

Puckerman does NOT date) he was actually pretty used to being at her house. There was so much

running through his mind as he watched Rachel Berry brush her hair out of her face, focusing so hard on

the assignment that their old hag of a teacher had given them. Something about writing a script that

would serve as an Epilogue to the Scarlett Letter? Fuck. He hadnt even read the Scarlett letter.

Everytime Rachel tried to get him to do it, he would just brush her off and pull her in for a kiss, which

always shut her up (And fuck. Rachel was the best kisser he had ever been with). He always tried to run

his hand up her thigh, his fingers going under her dangerously too short skirt, but she always pushed

him aside, explaining to him that what they were doing was just platonic, and they really should get

back to work on reading the Scarlett Letter. Puck resented that damn book and everything it stood for, it

was such a fucking cockblock. Maybe it was for the better though. Puck had bad luck with taking girl's

virginity (positive pregnancy tests: 1. Noah Puckerman: 0). He loved his little girl more than life itself, but he really didn't feel like having another fruit to

his loom (Whatever that meant, Rachel said it before when talking about why she didn't want to sleep

with him.)

"Noah," Rachel looked up from whatever the hell she was writing and bit her lip, and holy fucking shit,

that made Puck just want to rip her clothes off right then and there. "Yes Berry?" He said, trying his

hardest not to focus too hard on her lips, because holy god all mighty, they were some pretty sexy lips,

(And so sue him if he though about what they might do to his dick one day, he was a guy, and guys think

about that kind of stuff.) "What if we had sex." Puck held back a laugh, and by laugh, he meant that he

was holding back the urge to rip his pants off and pull her skirt off with his fucking teeth. He figured that

she was joking, Rachel could be the biggest damn tease in the universe. When he looked at her face,

however, it was clear that this was not a joking matter. Rachel Fucking Fine Ass Barbara Berry was

serious about having sex with the Puckerone. "Wait what?" Puck was confused. He seriously did not get

chicks. Everything about them was so damn complicated. He couldn't tell if she was just trying to give

him the blues or what, but he sort of liked where this conversation was heading. "Well, the other night...

I um... Well. I had a dream." Rachel's cheeks turned a crimson color and she looked down, fiddling with

the pen that she had in her hand. Puck just smiled his horny ass Puck smile. The one that he used to give

Santana, before realizing that he kinda had a thing for crazy ass Rachel Berry. "What kind of dream,

Rachel?" His eye brow raised and he watched her. She was clearly uncomfortable, but Puck sort of

thought she was sexy when she was embarrassed. Rachel sighed and looked up at him, their eyes met and for an instant,

Puck could feel something in the pit of his stomach (What the fuck was this? Puck

hadnt had this fluttery feeling in his stomach since he was a fourth grader and his teacher had givin him

a candy cane.) "A...dream...ugh, Noah! Are you really about to make me say it out loud?" She sighed

again, which wasnt helping his situation at all, "Yes." Puck needed to hear about this dream, it was a life

or death situation.

"Well." Rachel frowned and looked down again, biting her lip. "Rachel, if you're going to talk about

having sex with me, and then turn it into a talk about a dream, you have got to stop biting your lip,

because really, I'm trying my fucking hardest not to just rip your clothes off right now. Really." Rachel's

eyes widened and she looked straight up at Puck, that had been a lot to take in, but Puck was seriously

having some trouble here. "Now, let's hear about your dream." Rachel squinted her face up like she was

seriously trying to concentrate on something, "Well. If I tell you, you might get all... Hot and bothered...

It's a bit risqué." Puck just looked at her, did she really think he knew what risqué even meant? Fuck no.

"Just tell me about your dream, Berry... Please." He said that last part with a smile that made Rachel

think of a small kid asking for candy on halloween. "Alright well. We were studying, like now, and you

got quite bored with reading, although I was reading it to you and acting out the scenes perfectly. You

turned to me and asked me if I wanted to make out, and at first I wanted to continue with my

performance, but then you gave me this puppy dog look... That one. So then I well..." This was

sounding like a PG movie, not some hot sex dream, but Puck wanted to hear more, "yeah?" Rachel

looked at him, she was clearly about to crank it up a bit and make it a pg-13 dream. "Well, I straddled

you, like normal, and we were making out, and it was really... really hot. So um. Well. You started to

slide your hand up my skirt, like you usually do, but I didnt stop you. ... and well, lets just say... we had

sex."

That was it, she stopped there. Puck didn't even get any of the dirty little details that he had been

hoping for. "Well, was it good?" He winked, and she nodded a little bit. "Did you wake up all hot and

bothered?" He grinned and she nodded a little bit. She was being so timid about all of this, and it was

really endearing for him (His word of the week was endearing, Rachel made him have a word of the

week and he had to use it in a sentence atleast ten times throughout the seven days.) "So... A-

Anyways... We could continue the script after Hester moves away from the town. I think that would be a

good plan." Rachel Berry was so quick to get out of an awkward situation, but Puck wanted to keep

talking about it. "What if we had sex?" Puck asked her the question this time, a smile playing on his lips.

Rachel froze in place, looking up at him from her work. "Um. W-What?" He brushed her hair out of her

face and tucked it behind her ear, "What if we, me and you, had sex. Right now." She shifted her weight

a little bit and sat up straight, her face went from confused, to happy, to confused again all in a few

seconds. "Noah.. I really do think we should get back to our paper." The only thing running through

Rachel Berry's mind was her dream. It was heaven, Really, and after spending so much time with Puck,

she honestly thought that her dream would be reality. "Berry. I'm not going to pressure you into it.

Ether you want to, or you dont. It's not like im saying, get naked now."

It wasn't that Rachel didn't want to sleep with him, because god, she really did. It was that she didn't

know what to do. Puck was experienced, she was a virgin. She hadn't even watched a dirty video to get

the jist of things. It was like she was walking into a bear cave, blindfolded. "...So in the Scarlett Letter,

Hester has a bastard child..." Sex. "And so the town hates her..." With. "But she really isn't a bad person

because her husband..." Noah. "Has been missing for a really long time, and..." Puckerman. "Oh, Who

really cares, I know you're not paying attention to this book." And with that, Rachel pushed the books

and papers off of her bed and straddled Puck, and everything happened just like it did in her dream. It

was amazing, every second of it, and she never wanted it to end. Neither did Puck.

* * *

**THE NEXT DAY.**

It was two in the afternoon, and Rachel Berry was no longer a virgin. She had lost it to Noah Puckerman,

and honestly it couldn't of been better. Sure, she cried a little bit, and sure she contemplated singing a

song to him after they were through, but she didn't and that was all that mattered. Rachel set in her

bed, the bed that less than 24 hours ago was witness to her loosing the only thing she really had control

over, and looked through her text messages from that night. Just some drabble from Finn about singing

a song to Quinn about the one year mark of her giving birth to Beth, and a text from Noah telling her to

sleep tight. When she went to reply to Finn, a knot twisted in her stomach. "Oh my god, I'm pregnant."

She said out loud and quickly put on her clothes and made her way outside to walk to Noah

Puckerman's house to break the news to him.

Puck sat on his sofa, thoroughly enjoying the football game that was playing on the television. He also felt

really good about what happened last night. Not just because it was sex, but because it was sex with

Rachel Berry, and he actually kinda had feelings for her, (Shut up. It's not a big deal.) He got up during a

commercial to pee, and when he came back, Rachel Berry was sitting on the couch, her eyes looked like

she was about to loose her damn mind. "You really should lock your door, Noah, expecially since your

home alone." Puck opened his mouth to talk, but she just cut him off, "That's not the point. I didn't

come over here to scold you for disregarding your safety. I came over here to tell you that I think I'm

pregnant." Puck tried his hardest not to fall out on the floor laughing. She was serious. Rachel Berry

really thought that after one night she was pregnant. "Rachel, I promise you, you arnt pregnant." He

gave her a smile and pulled her in for a giant bear hug. "But Noah, I felt something kicking in my

stomach, I swear. And we all know that you're pretty fertile. Did you put on a condom last night

when we did the forbidden dance?" She looked at him earnestly. "Yes I did, and as fertile as I may be, I

promise my sperm isnt like a torpedo. It's not going to break through the condom just to make sure I

have a little jewish baby with you." He gave her a squeeze and pulled away, sitting on his couch. She

honestly looked kind of sad.

"Rachel?" ... "Yes?" ... "Are you alright?"... "Yes. I'm fine. Can we go up to your room?" Puck nodded

and leaded her up to his room, where they both sat down on the bed, same position as they had been in

lastnight before the sex. "Seriously. Why are you upset that you arnt pregnant? This is a good thing,

Rachel." She nodded and then looked at him. "I was just sort of excited. I really wanted to give her a

stellar name." Puck let out another laugh. Rachel Berry was seriously fucking adorable. "So. Let me get

this straight. You wanted to have a baby with me, just so you could name it?" She nodded and then

looked at him eye to eye, "Not 'It', Noah. It would have been a girl. My uterus is not accepting boys."

She crossed her arms and looked down at her stomach. Once again, Rachel berry was fucking cute. "You

cant just tell your uterus not to have a boy, Rachel. It all comes from down here." He pointed to his junk

and smiled at her. "Okay. I'm asking this because I really want to know, not because I'm planning on

impregnanting you, what was your choice of name for... her." Rachel beamed up at him and pulled a

small list out of her back pocket. "I was thinking, Barbara, Rose, Or Glinda!" Puck shook his head, "Oh

hell fucking no. What kind of a name is Glinda?" Rachel frowned and gave him a small snarl, which was

seriously hot.

"It's a perfectly acceptible name, Noah. It represents one of the greatest fictional

broadway characters of all time. Wicked won a Tony, you know. Oh Noah! If we ever concieved a boy,

which I'm not saying that I would allow, I want to name him Tony." Puck looked at her in shock, she was

really trying to get their future, imaginary children beat up. "TONY? Do you WANT our kid to get his ass

kicked? We'd name him Maximus." Rachel shook her head, no way she would allow that. "Maximus is

the name of a dog, Noah. Our son will not be subjected to such a name!" Puck frowned, "Fine. We'll

name him Brutus." ... "It's a character from a book, Berry! You love books!" Rachel just

looked at him, she was not amused. "A book where Brutus was a murderer. Why dont we just name him

Bin Ladin? Tony is much more appropriate. Or Anthony, which is the long version of Tony." Puck knew

he wasnt going to win. Especially not with Berry. "...I can go with Anthony... OR." Rachel knew

something ridiculous was about to be said, "ROCKY! Like... From the movie." Rachel had her fucking

pockerface on, this shit was getting real. "Noah, why are you obsessed with cultural icons who were so

Violent? do you want our son to be violent?" Beat. "Rocky was one of the most inspirational movie

characters EVER. He fought for what he believed in. He's like the male version of Glinda or whatever her

name is...do you want OUR son to know that he's named after someone who never gave up? No matter

what obstacles were in his way?... I mean, did you SEE that Russian guy? He was HUGE!" Another beat.

Rachel played to win, always. This was no exception. "The male version of Glinda? Glinda was a magical

being, Noah, did Rocky ever carry a wand and befriend a green misfit? No. I didn't think so. And no, I've

never seen the movie Rocky. It's more suited for someone of your gender." Beat. Puck was disappointed now,

"You've NEVER seen Rocky? Really? ...We can no longer make out." Rachel rolled

her eyes and looked at him with a small smile, "You cannot just stop making out with me, Noah.

Your mother would have a jewish conniption. I haven't watched Rocky because my fathers

would never subject me to such violence."

Puck grinned and pulled Rachel ontop of him, "my mom cried during rocky just so you know.

and it's not just a boxing movie. it's a love story too ya know. he falls in love with Adrienne." Rachel smirked and wrapped her arms

around his neck, "Well... I do love a good love story. Is there singing? I'm partial to movies that involve at least one musical number."

Puck smirked, and started placing kisses down her neck, towards her collar bone, "yeah...there's TOTALLY singing in it." Rachel

slanted her neck back, he knew exactly where her turn on spots were after just one night. Impressive, Puckerman,

impressive. "hmm. If there isn't singing involved, and I put forth my valuble time to watch this violent movie, I am not going to be too

happy with you, Noah Puckerman." He continued to kiss her, his lips moving back up her neck and meeting her lips, "We can watch it

together. Or, not watch it together. Whichever one." She let a soft sigh escape her mouth, "Let's not watch it right now." Puck rolled over

ontop of her and started to unbutton her shirt, "Whatever you say, Berry. And I promise, we wont be having a kid together anytime soon."

* * *

They had sex again that night, and the next, and continued to have sex until Health class when they were assigned as partners for one of

those machine baby assignments and Rachel took it as a sign that they needed to chill out on the sex atleast for a bit. Oh, and if you were

wondering, they named their machine baby Glinda Rose Gladiator Berry-Puckerman.


End file.
